Berlin diaries
From 28/04 to 10/05/2026
Soundtrack
Cannock Chase by Labi Siffre
Wahdon by Fairuz
Scent
Top: Cigarette smoke
Heart: Hotel bed sheets & Byredo Bal D'Afrique shower gel
Base: Lemongrass essential oil in a clay pot evaporator
Motifs
Continental breakfast
Neukölln
All black outfits
Radler
Clothes gathered on left side of the bed, messy & folded
Asparagus & Hollandaise sauce
Wet pillow
Memorable outtakes
- 1st of May celebrations. From having Radlers by the canal with the Danes, pizza & wine in Neukölln, to ending up at OHM club watching Stuart McKenzie perform their live set of spoken poetry and synth 80s house music. Gay terrorist-themed porn was being projected onto the warehouse's smoking area walls, and none of us could look away.
- Graciela Iturbide's exhibition at O/C Berlin Amerikahaus.
- Wannsee outing on the hottest day of the trip, a pint of Radler & chips that I shared with the seagulls & ants.
- 5AM burgers in Rudi's bed, watching Succession.
- Cycling through Berlin.
- Walks with Yui along the canal.
- Dinner with Michal, Rudi & Laura, Jewish penicillin soup with bread, a glass of prosecco, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, cheese plate & many topics of conversation.
- Nathanja & Heinrich Café/Bar Neukölln & Mano Café/Bar.
- Final visit to Tiergarten, lying by the canal, shoes off & in the sun with little boats passing by.
- Being in the Zoo after closing hours during sunset.
- Art weekend exhibition day with Michal, plus coffee & rhubarb cake at his favourite wine bar after.
- The Basemaker girls, the VFX team - Felix & Joey from New York.
- The whole crew hanging out.
- Fellow hotel guest asking me if I'm alright (LOL).
The Sentiment
I do in fact mostly reflect on my time in Berlin well. It was full of lovely experiences (as shown above). But there are gut-wrenching moments that tug at me still as I tried to stay sane, hold myself and function. The tight-chested mornings where I forced myself to run down to catch breakfast before they closed at 10:30AM, at which I collected many bowls of different foods: bowl of greek yoghurt and fresh pineapple and melon, made-to-order omelette with pieces of zucchini, bacon and chives, 1 or 2 pancakes with maple syrup, a glass of multivitamin juice, teapot of green or rooibos tea, iced poo matcha.
I then proceeded to have one bite of each, c'est tout. Feeling full just looking at all the food I hurriedly raccoon-collected. I only felt shame for the amount of things the waiter has to clean up after me, and not really the bashful food waste I have created.
The Poetry Corner
Unknown date, circa 5th May
Misa scratched my head, I feel warm I’m getting good hugs left and right from people on set
Anicka cried to me, Gary is on the verge, Pooja said it’s happening
GOOD RIDDANCE
Told Patrick that was a great performance as he cycled through Babelsberg
10th may
I think i just got a mormon ad while watching youtube
There are loud college Americans on this train, me and a fellow European - she works at the German embassy in Prague - share our grievances on how the accents pierce through the air, straight into our ears
“Is Georgia safe for a solo female traveller?”
“Woman Up” the pink sweater says looking at me
“Woman Down”
It’s gonna be okay, I’m gonna be okay
Hobbies thoughts ideas feelings rushing through
My hair smells like death
Smoking indoors, we were sat on the wooden bunkbed floor in the corner of the bar
Do I want to smell like shit every time I get home in Neukölln? To have my pores eviscerated by smoke
What about me! What? What about me.
